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04 April 2014



I actually think the incompatible guy described here might have been the guy I was with. New York? 30something but looks older? Begins with J?

There's no happy ending to my story -- at least not yet and I'm not hopeful for the future. I'm not having sex for now; maybe my compatible lover will magically appear when I'm 50, too. At least I'm not dissociating while gagging on J anymore.

chelsea g. summers

Only the Gotham is correct, and even had you been spot on, I'd not confirm. But I do wish you the compatible lover, always and soon.

chelsea g.


Brava, Ms. Chelsea.

As a single, sexually adventurous female in her early fifties, I am confident, yet feel like I will always be held back by the lack of access to (and abject silencing of) real and diverse information/images/experiences of female sexuality in my teens and twenties. Thanks so much for breaking this silence by bravely sharing these intimate, intimate details of your sexual life--and what you have learned from your experiences--with us.

And is it okay to ask that we completely retire the word "foreplay" already? To me, the word implies that there is only one thing that counts as "real" sex, with a "before" and an "after". Hey, everybody: it's ALL sex--the whole thing--all of it--the entire time!

chelsea g. summers

Thanks so much, Sasha.

Actually, there's pretty good evidence supporting a history of sexual activity that didn't separate "foreplay" from "sex" until the mid-18th century. So spot on.


Welcome the great...tis grand to read your words again.
And heartening too for I thought I was beyond the reach of such sexual nightmares but alas no, and sometimes (recently) we screw up with cold, silly men who are all frowns and faux chivalry. And yet there is the beauty of kicking the traces and walking barefoot into the night towards everything deep and those who cherish who and what we are.
You are ever the tonic.


reminds me of the Austin Powers movie when he realizes his new wife is a killer robot with machine gun nipples. He wonders aloud how he missed that, and the robot replies, "next time, try fore play, idiot!" Personally, fore play can get you and your partner off just as easily as coitus (IMHO, of course)

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