Thirty-nine years ago, the decision known as the Supreme Court handed down the decision known as Roe v. Wade, giving American women the legal right to abortion. I’ve had a few abortions, and I’d like to celebrate this decision by listing a few ways that Roe v. Wade has enriched my life.
Because of Roe v. Wade:
1) My labia, perineum and pelvic floor remain in their original pristine showroom condition. No one likes to depend on Depends.
2) I worked to support myself for six years by stripping. And then I got to write about it. Roe v. Wade is the gift that keeps on giving.
3) I didn’t have to spend the ‘80s driving a mini-van.
4) My breasts are fake and they are spectacular.
5) I had the freedom to go to graduate school to pursue my Ph.D. in English Literature. And then when I realized I didn’t want to be an academic, I had the freedom to drop out. Freedom is totes the coolest.
6) I never, not once, had to marry a man I wasn’t sure I wanted to be bound to by law. And therefore, I never, not once, had to get divorced when it all went asunder. I hear that it's really rather unpleasant.
7) I neither have a kid who’s turning thirty this year, nor do I have one who’s graduating from high school. Most delightingly, I don't have to keep track of all the others in between. So confusing.
8) I get to wear this groovy t-shirt that reads “Ask Me About My Multiple Abortions.”
9) I’ve never had to endure the peculiar hell of having my child walk in as I was blowing some dude.
10) I can be as lazy, solipsistic, narcissistic, workaholic and/or hedonistic as I want to be, and I don’t feel one iota guilty about it.
11) I have relatively few stretch-marks. See above.
12) Baby-free, I am a free bitch, baby.
13) I feel fine about my choice not to bear children. I didn’t want to be a mother, and I didn’t have to become one. It’s a happy ending that one should really see in a fairytale.
To support women's right to choose, go here. I did.
You know? As a parent? I say Right The Fuck On. Having kids is totally OPTIONAL. Thumbs up :)
Posted by: Lily | 22 January 2012 at 09:26 PM
http://crooksandliars.com/diane-sweet/santorum-rape-babies-are-gifts-god
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/25/ralph-shortley-oklahoma-aborted-fetuses-food_n_1230414.html
Between fools who think that rape victims who get pregnant should be forced to bear the children of the attackers and fools who think aborted babies are Soylent Green, my belief that the only determiner of a woman's reproductive choices is the woman herself is reinforced to a higher degree than ever before.
Posted by: 1st Republic 14th Star | 25 January 2012 at 06:47 PM
I love you both. Thank you.
Posted by: chelsea g. summers | 26 January 2012 at 08:37 AM
Nice article, thanks
Posted by: MaryJonson | 20 February 2012 at 05:33 AM