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18 May 2010



It seems to me that dudes are the ones handing out the slut-shamings, lately. And not upright religious family-guy, you're-destroying-the-sanctity-of-marriage types, but men who are or would like to be fairly slutty themselves. Which is not to say that promiscuity doesn't have unforeseen and sometimes really unpleasant consequences, at least not in my personal experience. It's just that this breed of dudely shame-mongers is not concerned with protecting me from my wanton self, but would like to displace a whole heap of sexual self-doubt upon my shapely shoulders. Grrr. That was a wanker move by your ex.


I know it's tough; don't feel shame.

You have lived a life many others only wish for, others won't let themselves live for fear of what they might discover.

I have a similar past and though somewhere along the line it became alright for men to rack up as many 'notches on the bedpost' as possible while women are to remain virginal in their purity, I still have had the inevitability of facing those awkward conversations with people I've dated over past partners and my 'transgressions'.

This concept that we are to keep ourselves from living a full, sexual life for that true love we haven't even met yet is completely backwards. I want a woman who has LIVED.

Frankly, I find it refreshing to hear a woman talk openly, honestly, unapologetically about sex. It's one of the things I love so much about my current gal.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy your reunion and hold your head high. That incredulous look you see in others often times hides a secret envy.


Another comment based upon the inequities that society fosters about female sexuality. You made your choices and you deal with them in an appropriate manner. Your ex seems to be striking out due to the fact he has been dumped and since he is out he decides to try to shame you with a stupid low comment. One should not burn bridges, because one does not know when that bridge might be needed.
As usual you put words together draw a great picture.


Wow, I could never say that to a women. I would've at least tried to be a little charming to see if I could get some action to make it a pleasurable conclusion. The only reason why I would go to a reunion would be to see if I could hook up with one of my old teachers, a fantasy I haven't fulfilled yet.



Yes.. the worst of sluts are shamed by being forced to star in a reality show.


I think most men are afraid of women and that's why we're raised the way we are. I wish I could own myself the way you do. Thank you for writing. I find you so very inspiring!


Speaking of high school reunions, I have to do a 10 page persuasive essay for writing class. Times like this, I wish there was some Chelsea juice I can take to get my nerve cells fired up.


If I could "like" this I would. Thumbs up, girlfriend. You are amazing.

chelsea g. summers

Aw, thanks you all. I love the free validation. It means the absolute world to me.

I'd go on, but I have a migraine and am befuddled. Know that I appreciate you and your words and am delighted that you find meaning in mine.

chelsea g.

1st Republic 14th Star

You did get "Deadwood" back, so you've got that going for you. What a great show -- I kept watching right to the end of season three when it was clear that the show wasn't going to be renewed and the story lines started to become more and more far-fetched. If you haven't seen "Justified" on FX, I recommend it. Timothy Olyphant is as intense in this new show as he was in "Deadwood", and some other "Deadwood" actors turn up in new roles on "Justified".

I've never been to one of my high school reunions, even though I now live in the same city where I went to high school. I didn't like many of the people with whom I went to high school, and I decided I would never go to a reunion unless I could show up everyone else. My next one will be the 30th. I think I'm at the point where I can say "maybe I'll go".

Edgy Mama

Hey C,
Sorry I haven't checked in on you in so long. I thought you'd stopped the blogging gig, but I'm glad you haven't. I've missed shameless, proud, spectacular, irreplacable you!



My best blogger, my first favorite sex writer, my literary hero.

I'm so glad you're back.

I've really missed your writing.

With Love,

His wife for now

Weird..I was just reading in a forum a post by a pompass ass in response to a woman's request for a little more erudite conversation...he and she started bantering books back and forth and hester was mentioned...I felt a little stupid (as I am sure he inteneded) in not placing the reference, but got it when she rejoined with a couple of hester pryne titles and a brief note about why he might have mentioned her...funny how the very thing you run across in one place pops up the same day in an unrelated venue...anyway...I enjoy what ive seen so far, high borw referances and all and will read a bit more..margie

Lola Sanchez

There is no need for shame. Like you said, you chose to indulge in consensual, fully protected sex. What in the world is wrong with that? You can look in the mirror with no regrets or shame.


What an a-hole...

Have a great time at your reunion!



Oh... so they are calling you "slut" as a bad thing? Shame. I love me some sluts.


It stung me a bit to read that you've been parched for praise, a crop on my ass spurring me forward to the comments section. Your blog is my blue-ribbon favorite, and I've long since thrown the red and yellow ribbons away, disgusted with the dearth of worthy contestants. There is no second place, no other virtual wordsmith that I visit with frequency, or discuss at parties, or know the URL for, or bother with in any other sense, unless you count Tycho from Penny Arcade among your peers. He does bear fruit with a delightful Monday/Wednesday/Friday predictability that I wish I could have from you, but now I'm just asking for Chelsea on tap, like all the other boys.

I've been cheating on you recently with Chase Twichell, and indeed it was her use of language - at once ineffable and startlingly precise - the reminded me to come and see whether and how much you've been writing. If you've not already read her it's a pleasure not to be missed, and if you have you'll know the compliment of association immediately.

Certainly she's a different style of mistress, frequently despairing at the very moment of pleasure in bold contrast to your own joyful, lusty cadence.

My best, and my gratitude...

Adrian Hardhand

Just so. Shame is an attempt to control other human beings. Give 'em hell!

Yrs in pervery, Adrian


I would agrue that one of the reasons for this re-emerging trend of slut shaming is the popularity and growth of pick-up artist mentality and techniques, which are based on a reductionist mentality and dichotomize the genders, so that the sexually aggressive male has a space to conquer the sexually submissive woman.

The problem with the PUA approach is that it works, it delivers results for users and therefore represents a pervasive philosophy. The guy in your case may well have been trying to insult you intentionally as a method.


Oh goodness. CG, I am shocked that any guy over the age of 25 thinks that pulling out the slut crown and attempting to make a woman wear it will work.

I know about the double standards, I know about the limited rewards that playing coy may bring. But it is just tacky to call a woman a slut or to imply that she is one.

I am glad you are comfortable being you. Shame he is not so.


What a fucking jerk.

Did you go to your reunion? Are you going to write about it? We're all ears out here on the internets. Listening to this this morning, seems apropos.


(It's a rock song, no video. But it makes me sad and happy, so good, right?) (Shit, should I have used a colon there? English teachers, sheesh.)

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