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11 May 2009



I wish you well in your quest for "real". As I feel I know you somewhat from your writing over the years, you do deserve to have a "real" and stable relationship, just keep writing.


I did manage to realise for myself recently (and there's a difference between learned knowledge & stuff you directly experience), that until I'm back in the center of who I am, until I'm no longer needy, but living my life with passion and conviction, then who is gonna find that attractive? And would I even want that person, who wants the half-beaten down me?

Sex is great, casual sex is okay with the right person. But sex with those we love is sublime. Its been a while for me, too.

minstrel hussain boy

there is a strange thing that happens with most artistic folk. on the one hand ('scuze me for going all tevya on ya) we need our audience to express our art.

musicians, actors, dancers, writers, painters, all of us depend upon an audience to view our work and appreciate it. yet, for the most part, the huge bulk of our process to create that thing for the audience comes from solitary effort.

when i am playing for people they are seeing so much more than the time i am out there in front of them. they are seeing years of single minded solo effort. the cumulative product of all those hours spent alone in a room ceaselessly running scales, the time spent searching for that phrase, that sound that would create something sublime.

when we read your writing, we are also reading all your rewrites, all your edits, all your cuts and additions.

for me, it all started with silence, until i used my gifts and my tools of craft to fill that with music.

for you, it starts with that terrifying blank page.

we start with nothing, and we create a something.

i need silence and solitude in my life the same way i used to need dope.

bravo for your stand. now, that you are accepting and solid in yourself, alone, the ones you allow to come in will be enriched even more. my daughter, the onetime stripper now a teacher, came to her most recent marriage (and i think that this is a good one hope hope hope) from a place of self awareness and power. what i noticed first and foremost was that with her now husband, she was herself. she wasn't trying to squeeze or reform herself to fit into his world. the fit was something that was there between them. it doesn't mean that there weren't some sharp edges to file down, some light sanding and maybe even a coat or two of new paint. that only made the fit better, it wasn't one of the cases where she changed fundamental things about herself to fit some dude's concept of who and what she was.

that's why i think she has it right this time. that's why i have every confidence in you, on your next time.

casual, sport fucking can be fun and a welcome diversion. go ahead, if it feels good do it. be honest about what it is and have all the fun you want to have.

when something that is valid and true stumbles in, often when you least expect it, your self awareness and self acceptance will put you in the perfect position to recognise and grab ahold of it.

enjoy the ride.

Vic Rattlehead

Gotham was based on Chicago, you live in Metropolis.

chelsea g.

Thank you, Vic, for your sharing your superior knowledge. You have certainly put me in my proper place.


This is my favorite post on Pretty Dumb Things, ever. There is something here - something philosophical, something stoic, something outside of the rest of the writing, that resonates with me.

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