end of days/day's end

A week and a day ago I woke up and decided I need to quit these, my pretty dumb things. A week and a day later, I remain sure of my decision. This blog is done, and I’m ok with it, and even if I wasn’t sure why I needed to end when I did, I am now closer to knowing.

Mostly, it comes down to this: my muse had moved and had not left an immediate forwarding address. A lot of my pain over losing Donny, my X, was wrapped up in losing the inspiration for so much of the writing here. His name shows up in 258 posts, but he hangs like an apparition around many more. As our break up became more and more solidly corporeal to me, I felt like this man’s presence linger ghostlike around every word I wrote. My muse was dead, or so it felt.

And yet, long live my muse, for I’ve found the joy in writing other stuff, stuff that I hope will get published for profit in the future. I’ll let you know. One place for which I know I’m writing is Filthy Gorgeous Things, the joint venture of Debauchette and Kasia, a place for po-mo porn, or art-porn or pornographic coolhunting. I’m not sure exactly where I fit into that paradigm, but they feel certain of my work, and they’ve bought a bunch and when it goes live, I’ll let you know.

I wanted to thank you all who wrote comments or emails of support. They—and you—mean more to me than I can articulate. Words rarely fail me, but they do now. I hope you’ll accept my truncated syntax as the naked uttering of my humility in the face of your unqualified support. You all are, and I mean this phrase in complete sincerity, the wind beneath my wings. If I could be any critter on earth, I’d be a hawk. I love the way hawks circle and plummet, rising on zephyrs and falling with unimaginable control. I hope that image helps you feel my uncustomary earnestness.

In the meantime, I’m leaving my archives stand. There’s a lot of writing here, more than I can even comprehend. I read through my archives and often can’t recall when I wrote those words. Sometimes it’s even really rather good. I’m feeling kind of confident about what I can write in the future, and as soon as I know when and where I’m publishing something, so will you.

Comments

[Pete]

CG,
Whatever your reasons, I will miss you. I will check out the other sites to see if you are there. All the best in what ever endeavor you choose.
Pete

[Kristin]

Thank you.
Thank you for everything.
Godspeed.

[Jake]

Please keep the archives online. You don't have to revisit them, but it's such a wealth of great writing and information that it would be such a shame not to.

[Gander]

Hooray for profit! I think you had the best written blog on the sehx wehb and I'm glad you've been branching out. Thanks for all the beautiful words and being our bloggy friend of long standing. Someday one or both of us will make it to your part of the theme park and I hope we get to meet you when we do. Best of luck.

[Julia]

Wow.

Keep us posted.

Thank you for everything and good luck.

[Southern]

Thanks for the update CG. Glad to hear you are taking your writing talents to other venues and I will seek them out waiting in anticipation to see some of CB's writings. I can understand how hanging around Pretty Dumb Things would remind you of Donny.

[Mr Manic Depressive]

Good luck in whatever you do. I've enjoyed the blog immensely and will miss it but I'm sure I'll catch up with you somewhere down the line. Thanks for sharing and good luck.

[Rebecca]

Hey,

Im not a big blog reader or commenter, but I've been reading Pretty Dumb Things for a year or so. Just wanted to say I think your writing is fantastic and, at times, incredibly moving and wish you best of luck in your future endeavors. Hearts.

[guntharr]

when it goes live, I’ll let you know.

I take it you will be letting us know from this blog?

And add another thanks for leaving the archives up. I absolutely adore your writings.

[Bad Kitty]

I miss your writings, so please do let us know where to find you! I wish you all the best, and hope you find you happy soon.

[Raj]

Thank you for doing this post. We have been with you for a long time and have felt your pain and experienced your joy. Thank you for taking the time to explain your move to us.

Please set up an email list that you can use later to inform us of your upcoming books.

Love Ya..

-R & J

[leigh]

CG, Hooray for writing for dough. Seems so healthy to let the Donny-haunted blog alone. All great things for you.

xox

[Mrs. Hall]

I can't help but feel very angry at this Donnie guy. What gives him the right to haunt this beautiful blog? I say he can stay put in whatever post he is in. But you are the center of this blog. He is just a hanger on that fell off a while ago.

Your presence, at least to this reader, is bigger than Donnie.

Good luck and I can't wait to hear where else you will publish.

:)

Mrs. Hall

[bedtimeforbonzo]

Came to your blog in just the past month.

Fun while it lasted.

Good luck.

And take care of that dog!

[Christina]

It was really nice to hear from you, CG. I have to admit I keep coming back hoping you'd changed your mind. Be well.

[Mr. H]

All good things must end.
At least that's what they say, but
I don't believe it.

I've been following for ages, dropping by infrequently, but always reading everything I'd missed in the interim. You popped into my head last night as I was calling my girl a slut while she came around my cock. I was remembering that I never would have broached that subject in the first place if not for you, Chelsea. You've been an inspiration to me.

I never thought when I read about your breakup that it might lead to you put away your prettydumbthings. I very much hope that you find your own inspiration and continue writing here.

The internet will definitely be a darker and a significantly less sexycoolfunnysweethardmoaning place without your writing. I'll miss it. Good Luck.

Mr. H

[Lucy]

I hope you write your thoughts about cougars _somewhere_. I really wanted to hear them. Have fun, darling!

[Karl Elvis]

I know this isn't the last thing by you I'll ever read.

Blogs have a lifespan. We tend to end them by attrition, rather than intention, but sooner or later they all end.

But I'm first in line for whatever you do next; it will be ever better; of that, I am 100% sure.

[alphagirl]

The best revenge in all things is living your life for yourself. Thank you for sharing yourself with us out here in the blogosphere. Be well.

[Jesabelle]

Ironically, I discovered your blog on precisely the day that you announced its end. I've spent more time than I care to admit this past week perusing your archives, and am both in awe with and impressed by your candor. I feel sad that you'll no longer be contributing to the blog, but too am grateful for the opportunity to be schooled in your oh-so-eloquently put lessons. You are one cool chick.
I wish you the best of luck in your new endeavors.
xxoo

[Joe]

Thanks for coming back and closing this down, Chelsea. I have been reading your blog, seeing pieces of my self and my relationships in it, and feeling the lingering of a ghost in you, as my ghost/muse lingers in me. I'm to a point where I hope you will be (I hope you get beyond this, actually), and I wanted to say thank you for reminding me of what good writing was and is all about...pieces of life that echo in others. I will miss the echoes that used to wake my ghost, and hope you find a way to put yours to a peaceful rest.

All the best.

Joe

[D]

I heard you on a podcast (I forget which one) today you were great. I come to your blog and your leaving! No! I've just started to acquaint myself with your writing, very impressive - honest, descriptive, raw. Great stuff! So good luck with your new (ad)ventures. And one more thing, which is probably highly inappropriate at the moment, but I hope you don't fail to consider the therapeutic value of a good spanking (or two) at this turning point of your life. Clears the head!

[minstrel hussain boy]

my dear chelsea:

good luck and best wishes on all ventures. you are a writer of rare skill, but, alas, i too know the elusiveness of the muse. mine was music, and when that shit's gone, it's solid gone. you can wait, sometimes it returns, but, even then, it is most often so desperately changed that all surrounding it is changed also.

thank you for the body of work you've produced here. it is delightful.

again, nothing but appreciationg for all you've given, and laid so exactingly bare, it was a treat and an education to read your thoughts.

glimpses into the soul are few and far between, someone who can look into their own soul without blinking, or flinching is breathtaking.

all best wishes and many thanks.

minstrel.

[nimue]

Good luck and thank you for what you have contributed to the blogosphere.

[Ms. Block]

CG,

I have been an avid reader of your blog for almost 2 years, and while it pains me to admit (as I don't truly know you) when I read you were drawing this line in the sand, I felt as though I was losing a friend.

Your words have really touched me.

You will be missed, but I know that you'll do amazing things in the future. Thanks a million for sharing yourself with me.

xoxo. Ms. Block

[Angela St. Lawrence]

Well, this sucks.

[i.m. butch]

wow. i haven't follow my thoughts to you in quite a long time.

and, now, it is gone.

good luck, CG.

i found so much through reading your words.

thank you, CG.

xoxoxo, I.M. Butch

[Dale]

Hey Chelsea,

Classic. You live large, you write large.

I love you and your writing.

You have much to say.

Please find a way to keep your fan base together.

Invite us to your wedding.( Its a sure thing)

That first book? ( Smile)

Cheers and much love.

Dale
Vermont

[pamy63]

What the F###? I can't believe that you are gone. You are a muse to so many. Good Luck and I'll miss you for sure.

[hank]

dude...

yeah, it makes sense.
didn't that fucking hurt! Donny, yeah, you closing down pdt, yeah

thanks for your beautiful soul, your honesty and richness, and bawdyness, and the friends I've connected with here (minstrel, et al)...

big up cg!! you are for real. remaain in contact
h

[Unnur María]

I've been a quiet reader for the past two years. I've enjoyed your writings but also gained much insight from them which has served me well in my personal life. I wish you all the best! Thank you for sharing your writings with us! :)

[Leesa]

You know, I quit my blog about 6 weeks ago. I have toyed with coming back, but I just don't want to. Good luck in your future projects. I did not make many comments, but I read often.

[New Fan...]

Damn. I just found this site tonight only to find out you're quitting it.

I hope you feel better. Breakups are always a bitch. Give it time... hugs.

Good luck with all your future endeavors. Any partner would be lucky to have you.

[Lavales]

Well I for one will miss reading your blog. I'll never forget the Soldier's Story that you posted, nor will I forget how you opened up your experiences for all of us to share along. Thanks. I hope that you will keep us updated with your new projects.

[Shelly]

Enjoyed this site, thanks for sharing you with me