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18 July 2008

Comments

Jen

It's on iTunes and I have it downloaded. Thanks for the heads up. :)

rob

heard you on susie bright's podcast. this was my first SB podcast and the 1st time I've heard of you.
great podcast, by the way.

you said something interesting about men, falling in love with a woman and not wanting to cause her any pain. guys are taught to treat women carefully. never to hurt them and always to help. open door, help old ladies across the street, fix "things" for them, always lend a helping hand. not a sexist thing but this is how "real men" treat a woman. At least this is what I've always been taught and what I teach my son.
the old saying; If women can't find you handsome at least they can find you handy.

So with this lifetime of respecting women, in grained in my head. I would find it hard to inflict pain, during sex. my current girl friend, whom I love very much. likes it when i hold her down, telling her what to do. I believe she would like the sex to be a bit rougher. I don't know how far to go and what if I don't like it.

whats a guy, who was 2 years old when JFK was shot, to do?

chelsea g

Rob,

That's a great question, and perhaps I'll endeavor to answer at greater length in a post. The short answer is you need to both respect your limits as you stretch them. Maybe you don't feel good about holding your lover down roughly, but maybe you can, for example, pin her wrists against the bed. Or maybe you don't feel comfortable calling her nasty names, but maybe you do feel ok about telling her to strip, to kiss you where you want to be kissed, to do less problematic things in bed, and maybe you feel ok about praising her afterwards.

The thing is this: it's ok to play in bed. You don't have to be Rob, the guy who holds the door for old ladies in bed. And your woman doesn't have to be whoever she is in her quotidian life either. You're allowed to play with boundaries as long as that play is pleasurable for both of you. If you're interested, there are lots of manuals that can help. My article from September 2007 Penthouse, which I can send you if you email me, might be a good starting place.

kissykiss,
chelsea g.

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