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20 June 2008



Happy Solstice, CG. May you find Puck at your door in the dead of night with magic powders for your eyes and Oberon lurking in the shadows.


Just beautiful. I can't say anything else. Kisses to you and a happy summer.


I was just down in my garden, which is withering in the heat. Watering the thirsty plants in a purple silk wraparound skirt and bare feet, I mused over the married lover who broke promises as easily as he made them. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get over him. The most disturbing part is that it parallels my relationship with my suicide father, in the emotional sense. Neither of them cared to respond. They just left, because it was what was best for them.

Me, this person who is so independent, who left home at sixteen and kicked the proverbial ass of the world repeatedly in spite of all the emotional wounding to be overcome. I walked wide eyed, right into that affair and believed in it, with all my heart. Two years later, I still have night dreams about the happiness inherent to that relationship. Wish fulfillment dreams. How did this happen? It ages me.

Summer. A spider ran up my leg and I shrieked, a little. There was a huge darkling beetle hiding out in the pineapple sage. He didn't scare me; they are slow. The white columbine seeds I threw haphazardly out into the periwinkle three years ago spontaneously erupted this spring. The blooms are complex and surprisingly fragile. The dried up shamrock leftover from St. Patrick's day is now sprouting happily at the back of the compost heap.

Sorry for the mini blog! This is what your joyous post brought forth in me. It's such an elusive thought and hard to pinpoint...that phenomenon of ridding oneself of the sorrow of the past to enable one to open the door for future possible elations. Right on.


You made me cry and blush with remembrance. I had forgotten.

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