the magic bullet newsletter: or, how to remain an X file

Perhaps you’ve read my previous post on choosing to write a blog with and/or of sex. Perhaps, despite all my sensible warnings to the contrary, you’re considering doing so. Perhaps you’ve already joined the doughty masses who sits before the ethereal LCD glow of keyboard and tap-tap-taps their experiences/fantasies/anxieties/triumphs/failures into linguistic form, presses the “submit post” key and makes digitally eternal those carnal and/or mundane records.

Good for you.

Have you protected yourself? Are you sure?

The thing about writing a blog with and/or about sex is that unlike writing a blog about knitting, spelunking, or music, you open yourself to personal attacks. Which might be the only thing that writing a sex blog and a political blog has in common—and certainly one could argue that the choice to write a sex blog has inherent in it a commitment to politics that writing a cooking or fishing blog doesn’t.  While all blogs tend to have writers who choose nom de plumes for all varieties of reasons—alternate identities are fun, for one thing—most often the sex blog necessitates one because sex is information we generally keep private.

We do not necessarily want families and acquaintances to know the nifty nitty-gritties of our sexual proclivities. We call our genitals our “privates” because we understand that this area, more than any other, requires protection. I’m going to forbear a long disquisition on privates and privacy and sex and the Will To Tell About It, as interesting as that discussion might be, in interest of giving you some information that I wish I’d had as a fledgling blogger. Rather than giving you a thinky-kinky lucubration, I’m going to tell you how to protect yourself and how to keep the stuff you don’t want known from becoming known. I’m going to give you the sweet concentrated distillations of what I’ve learned in the past two years of writing these pretty dumb things. I’m going to help you learn from my mistakes.

Anonymity: Yay or Nay?: Several writers obviate the problem of being found out by writing under their own name. One way to avoid discovery is to uncover yourself. Certainly, writers like Rachel Kramer Bussel, Jessica Gold Haralson, Elizabeth Wood and Alana Noël sidestep the whole anonymity issue by writing out, loud and proud in their own names. If you absolutely know that the person you want to be is a sex writer, then this choice of openness may be for you. Understand, however, that this choice has its downsides. If you’re single, you may have a harder time dating, for others may feel afraid of having your relationship open to the public. If you want to switch careers, you may find your choice vexed by your erotically-writing identity. Sex writing is unfairly stigmatized. But go you and your public sex-writing self if that works for you.

Grey is not Black: Even if you choose to be anonymous, your anonymity will rest somewhere on a sliding scale. Someone like  the best-selling author and courtesan Belle du Jour has kept her anonymity with a fierce protectiveness. No one knows who she is. Someone like Figleaf, who just won the Dirtyspoke award for Best Male Sex Blog, has a looser concept of anonymity. He is pretty open about what he looks like from the neck down, what kind of dining room table he has, his general geographic locale, and his marriage status—but his writing is pretty tame. If you are writing about illegal activities, like any number of sex-work bloggers do, or if you’re writing about acts that require you protect identities, like many people who are both fetishists and parents, or people who are having affairs, you probably want darker shade of anonymity. If, however, your writing is less personal, or if you have fewer indiscretions you need to hide, you can pick a grayer anonymity. In any case, it’s important to consider how anonymous you really want to be. Don’t just fall into—or out of—anonymity. Choose it.

Where R U (and Do You Care if People Know?): If you surf from work, the chances are that you have a corporate IP address that shows bloggers where you work. This IP address shows up as a number in any comment you leave, on most blogger’s stat-counters, and in many e-mails. My suggestion is to never, ever comment on a blog from a work IP. Never, ever, ever. Your home IP most likely has a carrier attached to your number. It might read AOL, Roadrunner, Verizon, or whoever your Internet provider is and it will give the general geographic location, usually the nearest big city or town. This information isn’t very important if you live in a city like New York, where there are eight million naked stories. It matters more, however, if you live in Vermont, where there are 800,000. If you live in a remote area, and if you want your anonymity to be black, and not a smoke grey, you want one of two things: to pay for AOL, which routes through three major areas, making it impossible to tell where you live; or you want to pay for a proper proxifying service. It all goes back to how important your anonymity is.

You are Your E-Addy: One thing you need is a proper e-mail address that you use for your blog and for your blog only. Get a Gmail account. It assigns a new IP with every e-mail, so no one will be able to put your e-mail IP together with your surfing IP or comment IP and figure out who you are and where you live. Plus, Gmail has massive storage capabilities and filters you can put into place. It’s just a really good tool.

Count on It: Also get yourself a proper stat-counter. I like statcounter.com the best—it’s free, invisible if you want it to be, and able to provide a tremendous amount of information. In addition, it allows you to look up an IP address, so if someone leaves you an untoward comment or sends you a cruel email, you can search that IP address to find out under what bridge that troll lives.

Clean Up Your Room: If you must do any blog-related work on a computer that anyone other than yourself uses, clear the browser’s history, cache and cookies. It’s best to work only on your own computer that you can password protect if need be, but this decision arises in part from how gray your anonymity is and how permeable you computer life is. I don’t password protect my computer, but everyone I know knows about my blog. I do, however, always clear the cache when I check my blog e-mail address or approve comments or check my stats. I don’t need anyone I don’t know and trust stumbling across any piece of information and being able to put me with my blog.

People are Strange when They are Strangers (and Especially When They Aren’t): Pick your blogfriends very carefully. You will get comments on your shiny new blog, and  you will receive emails from people. You will feel shiny and new. You will want to extend to these people your naked and open palm. Don’t. You don’t know them. They may not be your friends. You need to be polite and cordial, but you need to take time to get to know them.

I have made some really great friends from my blog. I love them. I would choose to be friends with them over and over again in any lifetime. I have also made mistakes. I used to give people my first name readily. Now people have to work to get my first initial. Protect yourself and become friends slowly. You don’t know whom you can trust, and it’s better to err on the side of caution. Truly.

Be More Scully than Mulder: Read blogs very carefully. See if there is a lot of defensive posturing against an endless and recurrent horde of enemies. See if the comments hold a lot of hate speech and discord—words that go beyond simple if heated debate on an issue. See if the life portrayed feels too good to be true. See if posts and comments go up and get taken down frequently, and in doing so seemingly rewrite the past explanations for something. All of this information illuminates, in blazing neon, signs of bloggers  who may write enjoyable prose but with whom you probably don’t want to share a turkey sandwich. Or maybe even a link. (Always Aroused Girl has a thoughtful post on this issue here.)

Your Place, Your Rules: Your blog is your space. You don’t have to publish every comment—this choice to not publish comments isn’t censorship; it’s your right. The New York Times doesn’t have to publish every piece of writing that comes its way, and neither do you. You can publish what you want, you can link whom you want, you can do what you want as long as you are agreeing to your server’s terms of service (and it’s a good idea to read the fine print). No one has the right to invade your home or your blog. Feel free to shut the door.

Save the Uglies: However, should you get trollish comments or emails, save them. You want these offensive pieces of vitriol, even if you never look at them again, because should your dilettante trolls graduate to being full-on stalkers, you want that evidence ready at your hot fingertips. Keep it all in your e-mail account, but also save everything in a word file (including the IP information in the e-mails, if possible).

Host? What Host?: should you choose to buy your own domain and to host it independently, you can pay extra to register it anonymously. You want to do this. You do not want this information that usually includes your name, address and phone, hanging out there in cyberspace like a big red flag to the raging bulls.

A couple of other things to think about—you want to back up the files on your blog. My server, Typepad, both imports and exports files, so I can save everything I’ve ever written here in triplicate (everything is already in Word files first). Blogger and Google have joined forces to allow you to email posts to a predetermined e-mail address when you’re finished writing them. You can also use Google Docs to save your posts. You also want to be very cautious about writing posts that can place in you in time and space; for example, saying that you're a dancer and performed on a certain night could locate you in a specific and searchable venue. You need, unfortunately, to be paranoid. My stalkers found me from such a post that tied me to a Googleable time and space. You never know what’s going to happen, and you want to have your bases covered (Viviane of Viviane’s Carnival put up a very handy post on basic ways to remain anonymous; you can see it here.) And watch out for little things like Amazon Wish Lists that have your address, or sending Microsoft Word files because they show who registered the program when the document opens.

I have learned the very hard way that I should have been infinitely more careful with my identity here. Had I to do it all over again, I would do it very differently indeed. But I can’t, and so I offer you these words that might just err on the side of hyperbole: think of the Internet like Deadwood; it’s a wild and lawfree place; and you need to be very careful so that it’s not your body being fed to the pigs.

The greater the risk, the greater the reward, but also the greater the need to be cautious. Now you can make decisions with foreknowledge, a luxury I wish I’d had, and one that my hard-earned experience can give you.

Comments

[Alana]

Hey CG,

Thanks, once again, for your advice. XXOO

My blog is but small fry. But maybe the more I publish the more visible my blog will become. Who knows?

Interesting sidenote: Company I currently work for has done not one, but two, background checks on me in the past two years. Every time you change job titles they do another background check. Anyway, yes I admit, I've waited for the big bad horn to blow, you know the one that would blare, "You're a sex writer! You're fired!"

So far, no horn. For whatever it's worth. But you know what I think sometimes? I'd rather be fired than have to hide anymore. Watch, they'll fire me when I'm fifty-five and unable to get a job somewhere else.

Love,
A

[figleaf]

Very nicely put, CG. Great advice. And yeah, I've always assumed I'd be outed some day and that's certainly tempered what I've had to say. In ways both good (knowing I could be confronted someday keeps me honest) and not so good (I come across as tame -- which, ok, I actually *am* -- but I might otherwise have exaggerated to good effect.)

Anyway, if I could add to your list I might suggest assuming that sooner or later you'll slip up anyway -- my trick early on was reflexively typing my business-correspondence and/or political-blogging salutations instead of my pseudonym in other people's comments. (Aside: Now I use separate browsers since "remember me" cookies are getting more and more broad-spectrum.) And... well... sooner or later someone might offer you a book deal or television show, whereupon one may be tempted to out one's self. The point being that since you never know it's a good idea to assume: the truth will out.

Thanks again for the wonderful disquisition. It's excellent advice for the beginner, and perhaps even better advice for the recently flushed, hacked, or stalked.

Take care,

figleaf

[Magdelena]

Babe, this is a first class post and in no way an exaggeration of the realities and perils. There are many worst case scenarios and having just come through one of them (i.e. losing my site), wish to endorse all you've said here. I'll add that things could have been much worse because in an act of breathtaking thoughtlessness, my WHOIS information was posted. Not having the option of private registration I generated false information, but if they had been my true details, I would be living in a measure of fear now.

No matter how cute we are with our online identities, our sexual representative derives from who we are. Now that my secret self is no longer crucified in cyberspace, I shall be more candid, although any long time reader of my site will have surmised this any way. I'm a psychologist, I understand the mechanisms behind mind and behaviour, what motivates, but my special interest is consciousness and the self. A working knowledge of the DSM-IV and ICD-10 has been remarkably beneficial even though my ability to help is limited by the medium.

I have not been gulled. Such intimate work with people requires compassion and an ability to step into their shoes, to fully understand the hell they endure. Most professionals will not go as far as I, they will stay safe in the audience. I enter the theatre of the mind. Knowledge is a protection of sorts and one reason why I am not destroyed by all that has happened. But many people out there don't have those filters and are seduced. There are two inherent dangers here: the 'I-blog-therefore-I-am' misery and the promise of a fantasy life realised. When dealing with 'normal' people, these hazards are real enough, but draft in different disorders and the threat ramps.

Please understand, I am not refering to anyone in particular here but am rather underscoring CG's words. If you come from a full realisation of how risky this world is, and so protect yourself in the ways she describes, then your blogging life will be a strange, wonderful, wild learning curve and hall of mirrors. Especially if you remember to stay within your technological limits. If you have no idea how to create and run a site, then don't. The free blogging platforms are fine.

Ok, I'm going to give my autobiographical self a rest now because there are more important issues, such as why do my breasts misbehave so badly in a bikini?

[sweat shop sissy]

very good advice indeed.
thank you.

[Viviane]

This is an excellent post and makes really great points.

I want to say a few things.

Email: Set up and keep, a SEPARATE account on email and your blog publishing system. I was reading on Sex Blogger Community how a blogger had one Gmail account for both a sex blog and also a locked, private blog for another identity. It merged the blogs uner one profile: http://tinyurl.com/37yyu6

Gmail is also good because it let's you manage other email accounts, as long as they use the POP (post office protocal) method of sending email.

Saving the Uglies: If you are on Yahoo or Hotmail, turn on and save the message with full message headers - that cryptic language which shows you all the machines your email is routed through. That info can be important. It can also be spoofed.

Even browsing from work is tricky. Large companies and financial firms have firewalls and other programs that capture keystrokes and see everything you do. One blogger you know was fired when she clicked on an email link and it led to a NSFW site.

I'm reckless enought to post to my blog from work. I clean out my machine frequently. I invested in a piece of shareware called R-Wipe and Clean (http://www.r-wipe.com/). It erases temp files, cookies, history, the Recycle bin, and also program traces. I installed it because I'm about to get a new machine. The first time I ran it, it cleared about 500 MB worth of junk. Because it's shareware, I was able to try it out enough to figure it was well worth the money. But the caveat? don't let it clear out your ITunes program - it erases the music library. I had to reconstruct mine. ;-(

Passwords: Create a strong password that uses a combination of alphanumeric characters, punctuation and mixed cases. Here's my post today: http://tinyurl.com/29o87u

Thanks for letting me run on!

[alwaysarousedgirl]

Excellent post, as usual.

I underscore the part about not sending Word files, as that happened to me (thank you for mentioning it).

[Al Sensu]

Thanks so much, CG. I already follow nearly all of what you've said. I have shared a real first name with a couple of people and so far I think I've made the right choices. I have a non-sex blog under my real name and have several people who read both; so far I have not screwed up in my comments or emails. Kinda like cheating and keeping your stories straight. I have 3 trusted "real-life" friends who know about my blogging, and I have resisted telling a friend who is closer but whom I don't trust to keep the secret.

I did have a shocking thing happen once that I have not found an answer for. Maybe you or another reader can help. I posted a comment on another blog, and when the blogger responded via email, in addition to my IP (no surprise) it displayed a domain name that I own but is not hosted on my machine. It is the domain for a side business, and has never been use to referred to in blogging.

[Al Sensu]

And I realize I'm squarely in the grey area.

[Artfuldodger]

Excellent post and topic as usual CG. Thank you.

As a blogger who has had more than his fair share of attacks, threats, hacks and everything else you can imagine, let me add to what figleaf said earlier and over on his blog.

Have a plan in place for WHEN it happens, not if. It will eventually happen, maybe a small version, maybe a big one, but eventually it will happen to you. So then what? So many of us panic, and I know I once did it myself, and immediately bring our blogs down. But ask yourself, what is the worse that can happen? And what do I want to do if it does? Having a plan, or perhaps several, plans of action is a good and smart thing to do. Think about it when things are calm and normal, so you won't have to when things start to get heated.

I don't usually like to plug another blog, and please delete this if you feel it is over the line, but I have collected a wide range of resources over at Stop Internet Censorship that can be a big help to anyone worried about this, or other issues.

Remember, you have a RIGHT to anonymity, and no one has the right to take that away from you, unless you choose to do so yourself.

[Miss Syl]

Good advice. I've never understood why people type their real names into their MS Word registration when it first pops up on installation. There's no need for it--you can type in any old nonsense (which is what I do).

Another thing to notice if you are hosted on your own server and/or use third-party software to upload photos or other file attachments. Be sure to click on or roll over all photos/attachments upon upload to check that the photo's path/URL has been converted to your blog's server URL when the transfer of data was made. If there was an error and the photo link is broken, instead of your blog's URL, it may list the original file path from your computer where you uploaded it from, and that may contain personal information on it you don't want to share. Checking the URL itself is key rather than just checking that the photo is visible, because you won't be able to tell the photo isn't showing to others from your own computer, as it will be pulling it FROM your own computer file and making it visible to you. Hope that makes sense...

[v]

i'd suggest that you only use your new email address only for blogging purposes. don't use it as your spam filter address or order anything with it. the more separate you can keep it from your real life self the better.

it's worth googling your new identity occassionally and seeing if you can track yourself back.

home-wise, here are a few things i do

i actually keep my sex blogging on a different browser that's not readily accessible. that said, choose a vanilla home page like cnn.com or something that doesn't require a login.

password-wise - don't save your passwords or user name. auto-login to gmail is convenient but risky. it'd be a drag after all your precautions to have explain subjects lines such as "sucking your cock" or "bleed for me".

password protecting your computer isn't a bad idea if it doesn't raise eyebrows.

[alwaysarousedgirl]

In my case with the MS Word file, it wasn't MY information but my husband's that was visible. I hadn't even been aware before then that he'd used his actual name, etc.

Foolish, very foolish, I know.

[Miss Syl]

AAG: Yeah, I'd pretty much meant that as a random, "But it's so easy to fake it!" comment, not really a question of why people do. In general, I think people do register with their names because they're straightforward and trusting and they aren't suspicion-junkies like I am. :) So who's to say which impulse is better, really, when you look at it that way.

[Fusion]

Thanks for the great info and links Chelsea Girl. Just today I was writing a letter in my blogger gmail account, and when I tried to post a comment on someone's blog on a secound window, it signed me in using my personal gmail account because I was already using my blogger account on the first window. Thankfully I caught it and deleated it right away.
If someone wants a good security suite program I personally recommend PC- Cillin by Trend Micro. $50 a year, discounts if you pay for 2 or 3 years.

[Viviane]

Ok, now I remember what you were asking me about email addresses.

I used my Gmail invites to create a separate account, which I use ONLY for files. That's the email address I use for the Blogger 'BlogSend' address. So when a post is published, it goes to that mailbox. I learned some of this stuff reading Merlin Mann's 43 Folders blog.

Fusion, I used the free version of the Zone Alarm firewall for many(3-4?) years and have had no problems whatsever. I also use the free Grisoft's AVG antivirus software. Knock on wood, the only problems I've had with my Windows desktop are ones are created myself.

[t'Sade]

The double-life of blogs, a fascinating topic, I have to agree. I will full admit I have a double like, both as t'Sade and as non-t'Sade. Mainly because my adult writing is also my political writing and I also write about things that are... really pushing the limits of "vanilla" sex. Okay, leaving a smoking crater at the wall of good taste as one friend put it.

While I try really hard to keep them separate, I also have the problem in that I like to talk about my writing. In person, I don't keep secrets for long. Just not my nature, so my friends know about my adult writing and most of them have either made decisions about it or read it then made their decisions about it. My mom calls it "horror" to explain why she doesn't read it but she tells all her friends about it. So, her garden club of older women all know that I write fantasy BDSM and about half of them bought it, read through page one and make a squeaking noise before putting it very carefully back in the box. A couple read it through completely. Likewise, at the last family wedding I want, my uncle wanted to know if I had more porn, just because he liked it so much. And he was planning on telling everyone who lives near them in Colorado about me, for the idle (relative) rich to have something to titter about.

So, I pretty much failed on the anonymous approach of things, at least in person. Online, I'm much better. I only use nicknames, in both journals. I also have a tendency to use "they" and "them" instead of "he" or "she" which also makes it confusing. I also don't really give too many details out about myself; I had a forum once put up a poll to make me tell them my gender because I wouldn't set it. However, I think that a competent person could figure out who I am, its just a matter of time and if someone cares.

I will admit, I am terrified of tsade.com showing up in a background check of mine though. Since I write about everything (furry, cann, romance, bdsm, fantasy) I figured I managed to push the wrong button on just about everyone on my site. :)

I've had about a dozen background checks so far, but fortunately, they don't really seem to check that much beyond name and SSN and sometimes addresses. I'd worry more about the government telling me I can't write obscene (or political) stuff or someone who really wants to find me. I'm also terrified that if I ever succeed at writing a children/YA novel, someone is going to track it down properly and then I'll have the uncomfortable discussion of how I can be YA writer when I write vore and other nastier stuff. I assume they don't care about the softer, hard-core romance which I also write.

One thing I didn't see is to get a PMB at Mailboxes Etc... excuse me, the UPS Store, or somewhere like that. I got that advice from various pagan groups, but it applies to writers of all types. They have someone there so you can call and ask if your contract has shown up, they can keep packages from being taken from your step, and they really are worth the $200/year to keep.

I didn't start doing the split browser thing until I set up an in-character LJ for a friend. A year's of posts. The problem is, whenever I went to tell her about it, as "someone just reading it" it would have their logo up in the window, so I had to split the browsers so she wouldn't know it was me until I surprised her during the holidays. Now, I still keep it up, but two browsers is a lot of work.

I really hate the double life most days. And it really is a protective measure.

I actually wish there was a day when I could combine the two together, to write about who I am and what I do and not have to worry about jumping though hoops to keep two important parts of my life separate. I wish there was a day when its okay to have sexuality in your writing and people don't damn everything you do for something they don't agree about.

[Bacchus]

I use very loose grey pseudonymity, but these are some good tips for the more security-conscious.

Just one area where I strongly disagree, which is the Gmail recommendation. I can see how it is handy -- I didn't know about the unique IP address, but I like it -- but, unfortunately, one "feauture" of Gmail is that all your mail is archived, by Google, *forever*. And Google is a large, easy-to-find, easy-to-subpoena target. If some stalker or opponent files a bogus civil suit, they can easily get every email that ever passed through your Google account, ever. Google cannot be relied upon even to provide you with notice and an opportunity to fight the subpoena, and even if they do, you'll need thousands of dollars in legal help, which might or might not actually help.

Of course, all ISPs log email that passes through their systems, but most don't keep archives for any great time, and few besides Google advertise that they DO keep it all, forever.

For better anonymity, using an account on some ISP in another country -- ideally one with a dubious legal system that's likely to ignore foreign subpoenas -- is probably much better.

[Edgy Mama]

The Internet is like Deadwood...I LOVE that analogy. You're brilliant, girl.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Alana to T'Sade]

T'Sade: A.M Homes wrote a YA novel, "Jack," and then she wrote "End of Alice," a novel about pedophiles, and which Playboy Magazine determined one of the sexiest novels ever written. What is OK for her must be OK for the rest of us.

Peace,
A

[Peter]

Hi there Chelsea !
I don't have a blog so no url. So sorry. Your advice on being anonymous is fine. There are many more examples of metadata out there.

Two issues for you.

First- Google saves every search and its corresponding IP ever sent to them. Yes, every single one...since it began searching. It saves all your e-mails too... forever. Most other services only hold it 30 days or so (AOL, MSN). So buyer beware there. This is more important when the real bad guys come looking.

Second- Truth in Blogs? Are you kidding? Who really cares? People read your blog and others for entertainment. How would anyone know what is true or partly true or total bogus? And who cares? It's all for fun anyway. I think you all protest too much here. Are you saying your blog is more credible than another? I think not. If I knew you, I'd be reading to keep up with your life, bawdy as it is. But most people don't know you. They are not stalkers. They are readers, looking to be entertained. You vie for blog awards and that's cool. But if you want real recognition, be like the others you speak of. When you rejected the news writer a while back, you gave up the chance for real recognition (see, a real reader). Your choice. Maybe next time you will come out. But who will really care, but you and those who know you.

I'll just read for the vicarious nature of it. Real or not. And when I am bored with a blog, I'll stop. But who would know?

I offer a lighter note on stalking. Facebook Stalker Skit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FahBBnfHAQ

Enjoy. And keep up the good work. Even if I don't know if it's real.

Peter

[badinfluencegirl]

you know there's one advantage to getting on the internet in '92 and that's that my 'protect thine self as girls are rare and wonderful out in the wilds of the 'net' filters are on full blast and always have been.

my lover knows about my sex blog but chooses not to read it, he'd rather hear about it in person.

my best friend knows about it (he's gay) and my neighbour who is so close he's like a roommate (and also gay) knows about it and that's about it... those two know so if i ever get hit by a bus someone can tell my blog readers what happened.

my lover knows because i write about him regularly.

but i hadn't thought of never ordering with that email address, i thought i was all clever ordering sex toys with my badinfluencegirl gmail account... but i'm not, it was foolish and i wish i'd read this six months ago.

i particularly like figleaf's comments, thanks figleaf, i will assume i'll get outed and write accordingly...

Hmm . . . I had thought that the MS Word reg info that pops up when you launch the program by double-clicking on a particular document was specific to the computer you're using, and not to the author of the document. Is that wrong? In any event, I have learned that Word will automatically put author and "last revised by" info into a document's "properties" tab! There's a "remove personal info upon save" option in the "security" tab within the "options" submenu. This appears to remove the author/reviser info, though I'm not enough of an expert to vouch for how thoroughly this really protects you.

[Hotel Pianist]

This is excellent advice! Thanks so much for posting it.
I myself was recently cyber-stalked and had to remove my blog... maybe if I'd seen your post, this wouldn't have happened.

[Anastasia]

This is a great post, but I wanted to add something too, from observations I've made after switching to Typepad from Blogger. Blogger doesn't really give (I'm not sure now with the new blogger, as I don't use it anymore) IP addresses per comment (I'd receive notifications via email, and that was it, more or less something along the lines of 'such and such has left a comment' and the direct link, no IP), and when I first started on Typepad, I was in for a good suprise when I received the first lot of comments, seeing the IP number. So there's no way anyone can really leave anonymous comments.

Some statcounters, even though they provide IP numbers, can make it difficult to match comments to IP numbers, especially if a person checks it once a day, at the end of the day, meaning so many hours have passed. I've been so much happier with the new platform now.

In regard to stalkers though, those who are caught out easily (their info being obvious, with one search for example), I sometimes think that - like their hardcore equivalents who are living in Death Row - they want to be found out, I don't know why. But a person who doesn't want to be found out can use anonymizers and all that crap, which makes it difficult. They often crop up as 'unknown' country on statcounters.

[bodhibound]

Thanks very much. This really helps me think about the q's I need to ask and answer as I figure out where I want to go with my blogging.