a band of gold

My pussy has become hotly contested territory.

Donny likes take a walk on the alt side, at least when it comes to his women. The lion’s share of his girlfriends have sported tattoos and body piercings, the willful plumage of the alt chick. They and I share our affinity for decorated flesh and Donny. More than that, I’m not sure what we share, if anything.

Donny’s last girlfriend had her nose and navel pierced. The love of his life before me had her nipples pierced. When Donny met me, I had jewelry in my nose, navel, and clitoral hood. I have since lost my nose ring to the dual entropy of accident and carelessness. Before I met Donny, I had taken out all of my ear piercings—both of my tragi had little hoops, as did my lobes. My tongue ring I’d removed a couple of years ago when I realized it was damaging my delicate gums.

The navel and the clit ring, gleaming gold in my girl folds, are all I have left of a multiply pierced past. And Donny wants that clit ring gone.

As if it had been drafted by an architect, my memory of the day I had my clitoral hood pierced remains sharply limned. I detail it here—and while it’s a good story, it doesn’t really require being told twice. Suffice to say that it included the following details: a trip to a celebrated piercing artist with my very pierced and incendiarily hott strippy friend Alexis, a crashing orgasm given orally through Saran Wrap, and Vanilla Ice’s phone number.

Since the moment my piercer captured my hood with it, I have loved my clit ring. I have loved it with an extra-flamey white-hot burning passion. I think it’s beautiful, and I love seeing it half hidden in my genital folds, the gold against my dusk-rose girl bits, the tiger’s eye bead winking like a sly glance. I love the way it feels when I’m rubbing my clit, and I love having it tugged on gently. Mostly, I love its feminine bad-assitude. I love how its presence says that not only do I know that it hurts to be beautiful, but also I’m able—even  willing—to suffer.

After I myself was pierced, I became the go-to girl in my circle of friends for piercings. I brought the legendary Brianna, she who purportedly made $60,000ish dollars in three nights of dancing, to get her well-groomed pussy pierced. I returned the piercing favor for my friend Alexis when she got her pubic mound pierced. I held her hand and watched her breathe as Dan Kopka threaded a needle behind all of the ligaments of the pubic mound and her clitoris to encircle the whole in a slender gold band.

Years later, I went with my friend Wiley. I held her skinny-hard hand too as her clitoral hood got its gold.

This piercing represents a great motherlode to me. It’s a tangible bit of history, a connection to girls gone by, a signifier for my alt signified. It’s just a tiny ring of gold, but like other rings, what it embodies in its auric embrace is bigger than itself.

Donny wants it out.

He has no problem with it visually. The problem, he says, is that it gets in the way. He feels that the ring acts like Belinda’s seven-fold fence of a petticoat in Alexander Pope’s Rape of the Lock: it’s a shield behind which huddles the desired object, my clit.

I don’t mean to dwell too long on the details of my female anatomy, but let me just say that while I’m not a petite girl, there are two parts that are smaller than average on my body. One of them is my retinas. The other is somewhat lower. Somewhere around Fortune’s middle.

I am jealous, frankly, of women who have full, pouty labia and commanding clits. On my small side of the fence, I see those genitals and they appear to me positively verdant with orgasmic potential. The puffy clit, ensconced in its bighearted folds, looks to me as if a few touches will send it sailing over the precipice of climax. A gentle breeze, a caress of silk, the lap of a tongue. No doubt this orgasmic prowess of the buxom girl bits is a product of my own imaginings, but I with my tiny slit, seedling pearl, itsy-bitsy vulva, and great need for prolonged foreplay that grudgingly yields up its singular—though neck-snappingly intense—orgasm, look wistfully at more generous and good-natured cootchies.

Donny, frustrated in his attempts to lick me properly, enacts the drama of my ring and my clit. “Here I am!” he squeaks, waving his hands at shoulder height like the frantic calling of a genteel, tea-drinking lady. “Right here!”

“No!” He lowers his voice to the register of authority, his arms now akimbo, hands balled on his hips. “You can’t pass!” He says and wags a finger. “No crossing!”

“Here I am! Right here!” squeaks my clit.

“Go away!” yells my ring.

And then he returns to himself and asks, “Would you consider removing it?” He looks so sweet, so confounded by the frustrating physics of giving me pleasure, that consider it I do.

I love my ring. I love Donny. What’s a girl to do?

Comments

[Bad Kitty]

Oh, wow; bummer. You would think that it would help, instead of hindering. What about changing it to a barbell, instead of a ring?

[FrenchKisses]

Oh Dear GOD!!
Teach the sweet boy how to do it right!!!

[Goose]

As a small clitted girl myself, though capable of mas orgasma, I say no. For now anyway. Keep your ring.

[sabine]

It sounds very pretty all nestled and bejewelled, with its only little door pull. But thats a tough one of function over fashion, would there be more or less pleasure for you is the question/answer?

[SexInThePublicSquare]

When I came to the end of your post what I wanted to scream was "NO NO NO don't take it out." And then I immediately thought, who am I to so vociferously object? You write so lovingly of it that it seems like too great a sacrifice to make for a lover. But what do I know of your relationship with Donny, really? Too, it's a piece of metal that, after being removed, could be kept. The flesh could be (yikes!) repierced at some future moment when a new clitoral realpolitik has developed. Nothing lasts for ever. Bodies are malleable and all that. Still, my gut, having never seen your cunt or it's ring, screams NO DON'T DO IT. And when I have such a clear, reflexive "NO" reaction, that is sometimes a good indication that it is time to say YES. So there it is. Absolutely no helpful response at all!

[chelsea girl]

BK, I've thought about a barbell, but I don't think it'll work.

FK, oh you must be new to my blog! That's so sweet! Welcome!

Goose, thanks, that's what I'm leaning toward for the mo.

Sabine, yes, that is the question indeed, or one of them at least.

SithPS, thank you for feeling my pain.

kissykiss,
cg

[TMK]

Sometimes in life people need to adapt and this seems like exactly one of those times.

In this regard Mr. D is being selfish, oh it doesn't sound that way because he wants to bring you pleasure, but the truth is the ring is frusterating him and would make his life easier if you just didn't have it so he could more easily bring you to climax. This request is for him, since as it stands now it appears he finds a way to succeed at his given task while you have your "precious".

The problem with the request is that the ring is for you not him, if you only got pleasure from it when he was associated with it that would be one thing, but the ring is in itself pleasure. So if you removed it, the net gain would be negative. You would be disconnected from the experience and significance as well as the alone time you spend with it, which doesn't make up for the Mr. D time.

In short you would be foolish to do so unless you and Mr. D had come to a point where it was time for you to make a sacrifice for him that had further than sexual importance, but rather carried an emotional commitment to your love that stretched beyond that of the common orgasm.

Best of luck with your decision.
TMK

[chelsea girl]

Actually, TMK, your conclusion is the one that I came to my own darn self. When Donny wants to commit to me, then I'll remove the ring. A kind of quid pro quo gold ring exchange, a warm-up to the vows, if you will. I think at that point I'll be in the mode for some radical self-redefinition, and then, as you convincingly reason, taking out the ring will be a gain for me.

In fact, I told him my decision last night. To which he responded, "Well. That came out of nowhere. Ok."

And the story goes on...

thanks, though,
cg

[Lanius]

For what it's worth, I'd recommend keeping your piercing for as long as you like it. I know that Donny has fixated on it as balking his oral endeavors to send you into orgasmic bliss. However, nothing says that the technique he is envisioning using on you will work as he hopes. Given what you've written about the ring previously, I would think that Donny learning how to work around and with your piercing would serve you both much better in the long run.

Have a great night.

[TMK]

You're welcome.
You share we share when we can.
TMK

[Austin]

This may be the first time this has ever been said: Your pussy is like Palestine...

wait. what?

[chelsea girl]

Austin,

How lovely to see you again.

My pussy is hot, dry and of Biblical porportions? Huh.

kissykiss,
cg

[Austin]

Just when you thought I forgot about you!

Well I didn't say it! :)

[Shay]

Forgive a peircing novice (I only have my ears and navel done) but would it be possible to take it in and out?

[Lil]

I got my hood pierced almost 7 years ago, and I could never imagine taking my jewelry out long enough for the piercing to close up. I can, however, take it out overnight or even for a few days, and it doesn't close up. On the (very rare) occasion when a guy has complained that my pelvic grinding on him isn't comfy because of the metal, I've taken it out for the evening. And I have never had any lover (of either gender) complain about locating my somewhat-petite clit -- in fact, the piercer told me that most women who get it done love the fact that it gives their lovers a "beacon" to locate their clit! "Just follow the shiny!"

But you already know there's a bigger issue here than temporary or permanent removal of your ring. You sound like a sensible enough woman to know that, while love takes reasonable compromises at times, you should never compromise yourself. And true love involves accepting another for who they are and how they are...your man might want to consider that a bit more before he continues to mock any of your adornments.

[claire]

Sounds like you've made the right choice for yourself for now.

I think it's very cool your ring has a history and significance for you.