foreign objects in slippery places

Donny, as I have mentioned, wants a threesome. We have not as of yet managed to make manifest the threesome. The threesome appears to be a corporeal possibility, but it still remains soundly in the land of planning and fantasy, that land of then and there, not this land of now and here.

In the meantime, I try to indulge my Donny. I indulge him in all things that I possibly have the wherewithal with which to indulge him, namely my abilities in the fields of listening, talking, fucking, and loving.

Often I am able to indulge in all of those fields simultaneously. Donny likes to talk in and out of bed, and I like to listen, and though I’m not a wildly creative dirty-talking girl in bed, I can answer questions, which conveniently for me Donny likes to ask. One thing Donny likes to talk about a lot is how much he’d like to see me with another man.

Before I started seeing Donny, I had no idea just how many men share this desire. Apparently, quite a few. I like threesomes in no small part because I can watch and be watched, and especially because I can watch from viewpoints that I have no physical possibility of having in my currently humanoid form.

Girls kind of get the short stick when it comes to the visuals of sex. Dudes get a big wide panorama of fornicational goodness; we, sadly, view the action as if in blinders, our bodies maddeningly obfuscating our vision. Mirrors help, of course, but we women often have vexed relationships with our two-dimensional images, at least this woman does, and sometimes when looking at my reflected doggy-styled self, I have to remind myself not to focus on the jiggly bits and how those bits scream, “Gym!” and instead focus on how fucking hott Donny and l look when we’re joined at the hips.

In short, we women have limited views. So while I could understand Donny’s interest in the threesome to be that innocent wonder of “Look what I can see!” it’s not. It’s not just seeing these fucky-sucky things from a new perspective that gets him all in a breathy heated rush; it’s seeing my desire for this man, his desire for me, and the whole rippling three-person psychodrama of desire.

I can’t give him that, not yet, anyway, though I hope to someday, if he still wants it when the naughty sweaty platter of tangled limbs gets handed to him. But what I can do is this: I can go out and buy a dildo, a big, fat dildo of African-American hue, and I can let him fuck me with it.

Which I did. I bought a gorgeous, stubby-thick Vixskins silicone dildo from Toys in Babeland that feels amazingly like a real cock and a new bullet vibe as my previous one had died a tragic non-sex-related death under the heel of my motorcycle boots, and I packed my new toys in my purse to go to Donny’s.

And as much as I am hott for my new toys, as much as I love playing with toys and as much as I am turned on by the thought of a threesome and as much as Donny gives me the major good down-low tingle, I had a hard time getting into it all. Sometimes, I find, that when there’s a lot going on in the bed, and no ropes or blindfolds to make me focus, I get this fractured, scattered feeling, this feeling that I’m not feeling everything good that I could/should/would if only things were…different.

And then that anxiety compounds upon itself and I get less turned on than I was in the beginning. I start to worry, maybe there’s something wrong with me, maybe my madmojo has grown sane, joined society, started a bookclub, bought a house and a minivan and didn’t inform me. Maybe my madmojo has left the building. Maybe I’m not in love, maybe oh god oh god he’s not in love with me.

Maybe my clit is broken.

Maybe it just isn’t happening not only today but tomorrow every day forever. Maybe I’ve lost it.

And I’m lying there on Donny’s bed, spread and opened and apparently in my anxiety still dripping, apparently my head hadn’t told my pussy that I wasn’t excited, and I’m thinking maybe the toys are just too much. Donny is happily writing the narrative of his day’s desire on my body, plying my pussy with the vibe, inserting it and licking my clit, parting my labia with his long fingers and admiring his handiwork.

Taking the dildo and lubing it and with a passionately ambivalent interested disinterest, inserting it, fucking me slower and faster, trying it out, this other dick, seeing what it can do.

I want to please/be pleased. I want to badly, and yet I’m lying there awash in my own anxiety (and apparently pussy juices, though I don’t know that until I later stand up and see the mute puddle testifying to my unacknowledged desires) and I’m feeling…not much. Not enough. Not nearly enough, not considering how much how long I’ve wanted this fucking dildo and how much I love this man who is fucking me with it.

The anxiety is near paralyzing; I sense everything with a weird kind of out-of-body cinematography. It is not my pleasure; it is a representation of a pleasure. This is not my beautiful dick. This is not your beautiful fuck.

And then the lightning strikes in my little noggin and I realize I need to make the threesome there for me too, and I pull Donny around as if he were going to 69 me, and there, uncomfortably impaled by Donny’s hard cock in my mouth and this thick dildo in my cunt, there I can relax. All I can see is my lover’s too-close for detail flesh, all I can feel is the fantasy world of double impalement, and there, the anxiety recedes, pleasure takes precedent, and with Donny fucking me with the dildo, my finger on my clit, the imagined lover fucking me between my thighs, I come, my cries muffled by Donny’s cock.

Later, after Donny has sprayed my belly with his come, after we have hugged and that hug has spread his jizz along both our bellies, mine slightly convex, his slightly concave, after we have hugged and kissed, we shower. As I am toweling myself off, my nosering catches in a loop of the towel and flies into the shower’s abyss. Donny picks it up and hands it to me.

I ask him to put it in for me. “Noooo!” He says, aghast.

You just spent an hour fucking me with a dildo, I say levelly, and you can’t put my nosering in for me?

We laugh, and he gamely inserts the ring so gently, so tenderly I feel nearly nothing as it slides quietly home.

Comments

[Magdelena]

This brought back some memories. A few years back I engaged in threesomes for the visual delight of my partner. For some of the time they watched, at other moments they joined in. I filed it under interesting, because while it was fun, it didn't blow my mind. Musing on this, that could have been as simple as who the other person was. I'd choose more wisely now. I think that circles back to your thoughts on making something work for you. Strange how that connection can be so elusive.

[Neil]

I asks this half-jokingly, but half-seriously -- doesn't the idea of a threesome seem a bit overwhelming to you? If things are going right, two people is pretty intense. I don't know exactly why -- maybe it's my prior experience with one person or maybe I'm just not the sharing type -- but dealing with two people in bed sounds more like a headache than fun.

[alwaysarousedgirl]

I'd like to have something other than my current humanoid form for many reasons.

One of them of course would be so that I could better see myself having sex.

People are quirky. I can have just finished french-kissing a gal for hours and then, if we share a soda, I want to wipe the rim of the bottle. It's irrational, but there you are. Good for Donny being able to get past it. ;-)

[KtotheE]

It's funny, one friend of mine's boyfriend has an absolute fetish for some-other-man-fuckling-her fantasies. I don't get it either, but I love when she inserts me as the other man as the fantasy.

I don't get it. I don't mind sharing, but I just don't get watching. I'm all hands. hands and - you know.

And speaking of putting in piercings, one of the most intimate things I've ever done with someone is to swap piercing jewelry. I took a barbell out of her clit hood and traded it for a ring from my ear. Somehow taking something that seemed a part of me and something that seemed a part of her and swapping them felt more intimate than almost anything else I could think of. Alas, she wanted her barbell back.

[chelsea girl]

Hmmmm....threesomes overwhelming...yeah, I suppose so.

How, exactly, is that a problem? Isn't sex supposed to be overwhelming?

It seems to me that threesomes inherently pack a bundle of issues--logistical, emotional, perhaps even physical--but sheer sensual neurons-a-poppingness isn't necessarily one I'd put at the top of the list.

What do you think?
cg

[ravenna]

So right and so well said, CG, sex *is* supposed to be overwhelming! And I confess to a glowy little moment of lucky-me-ness when I read this. Threesomes up to sixsomes are part of my sexual landscape, and it's made my (and their) world bigger and wilder and overwhelming-er and more full of love and, um, wet slippery things. It's all good, but, yeah, logistically and otherwise challenging... And that little intensely intimate moment when your man puts the ring in your nose? OH WOW YES. (Or any other perforated body part.) OH MY. Lucky me again, my lucky day--and lucky *you*, darling CG. And lucky me for being able to read your journal, this post is so hot and right.

[Miss Ho]

Reminds me of my first 3some in college which was such a disappointment. I was there because I was so in love with one of the guys (who, sadly, didn't feel the same for me) and would have done anything. I felt like when I was blowing one and getting fucked by the other they were high fiving each other, "woo hoo...look at us." It was so much more about them than me.

[Shay]

I think I would enjoy being with two men, as long as I didn't know them, so that there wouldn't be any jelousy. My lovers tend to get a tad possessive (except for one).

It's so wonderful that you and Donny can explore together like that. ^_^
Also - I very much identify with your mid-sex anxiety. I've been there - it's amazing how things can seem out of control one moment and then the next everything is alright once you've got someone to distract you in just the right way....

[Goose]

very nice post, and yes the intimacy of the nosering really struck me. XO

[Used Hack]

I think you would enjoy a threesome a great deal. I know it's difficult to take the first step, but it's loads of fun. Even when it's not that great, it's still pretty damn good.

[Poetnyc]

Sex involves a certain suspension of disbelief, just like a novel or movie. When the real world enters, in this case in the form of a nose ring, the spell is lifted.

I have to say I've never wanted to see another man have sex with the woman I'm with, but to each his own.

My fantasy of a man-man-woman threesome is quite different. A lot of it involves me thinking of the woman watching me and the other man do things together. For the women out there, does the idea of watching another man suck your man's cock arouse you? How about seeing your man fuck another man while the other man has his face between your legs?

There are lots of interesting combinations...

[Miss Ho]

Your m-m-w fantasy is the same as mine. I find the idea of a man sucking my man's cock or showing my man how to suck a cock arouses me beyond belief. I think that's part of the reason why my previous experience may have been unfulfilling.

[chelsea girl]

Yeah, that's not so much one of mine. While I like gay porn, like it ALOT, especially the pre-release copy of Damon & Hunter: Doing it Together given to me by my now close personal friend Tony Comstock, I don't have the big burny yearning to see my man thusly engaged.

I'll give the boy-on-my-boy lovin' fantasy a trial run and get back to you all.

Kissykiss,
cg

[Summerbreeze]

Your posting is hot for sure, but I'd hate to be you. You got genius bordering on insanity disease. I lost a good friend to it. If you think you've got problems now, throw someone else into the mix. Threesomes (and moresomes) are for people who don't love each other and career swingers. (Although I'll be back to read the posting of how you lost Donny.)

[bodhibound]

You're just fantastic. I'm immediately sending this link to my partner. Thanks for accidentally articulating me.

[RickStar]

What a hot ass story :) Much Kudos :)