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24 January 2006



I am so glad you finished this. It's terrific. Someone needed to sing the praises of fornication, and I hope that in years to come the Bathhouse Manifesto spreads far and wide--so to speak.

Anon Reader

Great writing and a great post (again).

Em and Lo had a nice article about what the current state of relationships.

You give the reasons from a personal perspective, which most people can relate to.



However, I have to say that this quote wins for my personal quote of the day:

//I have fucked my way through great swaths of men, and slender swaths of women.//

I picture this as a warrior-goddess vanquishing battalions of men (with a woman here or there), using her feminine wiles instead of weapons.



I completely agree with everything you said. Thanks for writing something like this.


Woo hoo! I think I'm one of the people who ticked you off by dissing bathhouse sex. I was specifically dissing the kind of high-risk, anonymous-partner, no-protection, dark-room sex practiced in actual bath houses.

Eyes-open, modicum-of-common-sense rampant promiscuity is a bird of a different feather.

You're exactly right on the two most important counts, CG. First, that fulfillment comes from being in love, not *what* you do with the one you're in love with. I always feel like an idiot trying to communicate the bowling analogy but I've been doing it backwards, saying "if it's fine to bowl with friends why isn't it fine to have sex with them." If you're already locked into monogamy then that's just not going to carry water. Instead you say "sex is better with someone you love because everything (even bowling) is better" your rhetorically on much firmer ground. (Did I just mix any metaphors there?)

You're also right that sex with people who wouldn't be life-partner choices but are excellent in bed is still excellent.

Anyway, I love this post and agree with you to a degree I hope shocks you. :-)

Take care,



I'm not sure I would do this myself, but I totally get what you're trying to say. Thanks for finishing it.



My beloved fuck-salad,

You always seem to make the things/demons/thoughts I carry around quite normal. That I'm not alone, not a freak, not a whore.

I love you for teaching me something new every week.

I love it that your words inspire me to dig deep within myself, plugging along to find my true self.

I love it that you have made Vin Diesel extremely unattractive to me with your stories.

And most of all, I love you because you are my CG.


Warrior goddess indeed. I am in awe of you. I appreciate your sharing of stories, CG. I always learn a little about myself from them and feel so good about sexuality in general.

chelsea girl

Oh, yeah, babies.

I am the warrior goddess with the weapons of mass seduction, striding the earth as a colossus.

Now kneel and kiss my raiments.... and while you're down there....



It’s just not cool to tell me what’s mature or real or adult. Bravo! And hear hear. I agree with an enormous amount of what you've said in this post, and thoroughly applaud you.

I went through a version of my own SlutFest in 2003, and it was a delightful thing - with it's ups and downs, but for all that absolutely the best thing I could have done for myself.

Philip Clark

Based on your suggestion, a lady friend and I tried doing it in the doghouse. It was a little crowded in there. Then I realized the secret was to let the dogs out first. Thanks for the idea!


Even in this enlightened age (?) it's brave to come out and say that sex can be detached from love. And there are probably still people around who'd like to burn you at the stake for saying so. I admire your bravery and honesty. You set a good example to us all.


Excellent Post! Monogamous sex is certainly not for everyone. ^_^

Used Hack

Warrior Goddess, I salute you. ;)

Edgy Mama

Well-said, CG. Now I'm horny just thinking about great swaths of men. Yummy.

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