« cruising on christmas | Main | bookish secrets »

12 December 2005



as if you weren't already thin? as if you weren't already beautiful?

Yeah, okay---wow, just wow.

I'm not sure what better indictment there is of him, or of our culture, than that it is possible for such a pathetic little man to make you feel like less than the goddess you in fact are.

I hate him. Another one.



Honestly, that is one of the most bizarre fetishes I've ever heard about...

It actually scares me more than the guy who raised snakes so he could fuck them...


I just read about this guy on another girls blog. What a freek!

Here are the links.
Part 1

Part 2

Part 3


Wow, Chelsea girl....what can I say except this guy is a total froot loop. I used to dance too, and never experienced anyone in my 3 years like this. Sure I had some real doozies...but no one like this wacko. Narcissitic (sp?) pig. Well, you have nothing to be ashamed of, as you were as beautiful then as you are stunning now. Keep up the great writing!
Love and wet kisses-


For what it's worth, there are a lot of feeders out there. Most of them just aren't bold enough to turn it into a performance or kind enough to make it a consensual act with an informed and paid "victim." I have a friend whose ex-girlfriend was a feeder. She fed her fried and fatty and sweet foods and alcohol and said "I love you big" and then called her fat, pointed out particularly thick body parts, and said no one else would want her when they had fights. There was more to it than that, but it boils down to feeder and non-consensual, and that's appalling.


Wow, that pisses me off that someone would do that not only to you, someone that I feel close to, but to anyone. Fuck him. Or better yet, NO ONE FUCK him. Bastard. I'm sorry you had to go through that. You are too beautiful, smart, funny and wonderful. All the girls were. What an ass.

chelsea girl

Yes, thank you all.

The Feeder is a wretched human being. A friend of mine who played the occasional thin girl said "no more" when the Feeder pulled a scale out of his briefcase.

Sickness, really.

I love you all too,

Digger Jones

Wow. Reading that did make me angry at that man. But thinking about it makes me understand his scene: If *he* was to call you fat, it would have been easy to blow him off as a costumer and a man. But the fact that it was a woman...even if she was paid to act it and you knew it...that said those things sank in much deeper. Unexpected, that was. A serious mindfuck. Or mind rape.

How does a woman recover and restore herself after something like that?



Several thoughts here beyond 'disgusting miserable pervert' CG.

1.) I hope Dick Cheney is a bit more preoccupied presently.

2.) Only the Internets can get you a fix on this perv. the same damn day. Amazing if it's the same sicko.

3.) There's Lots of 'feeders' out there, both M/F and it's a complex sort of psychological drama, sometimes it can be quite benign, but this is obviously not the case here. There's porno sites for this stuff too, so someone's making money off of it too.

4.) We've yet to plumb all the perversions out there or even those that were/are commonly seen at the clubs, right?

5.) A new generation of discrete camera phones and/or much smaller CCTV's can give a new boost to the giddy heights of old fashioned extortion. Think of what this clown would give to keep his nasty habits out of the papers. Think of the mercurial talents of some of your co-workers or the management of some clubs that would be willing to go though with this. You can just smell the flop sweat from here.

6.) I'm wondering what's to keep anyone from throwing up on the guy after the girls got paid. That would be one obvious response.

7.) Much, much worse than the Brahman. Even with not a hint of direct violence, still pretty damn sinister. Vincent Price would play the role in the movies, but of course with a bit more kink.

8.) Again as with #5, the management must have a long list of these favored pervs. What's keeping others from using this information? Is this something the police could use? Have there been active surveys on the crminial component just visiting or frequenting titty/dance bars?

9.) Definitely the type of perv action you can somehow easily get 'live' in some cities that you'd have to troll for weeks to obtain on or from the 'net/BBS'.

10.) Why is it so damn easy to degrade other people for fun and profit?

There's a few dissertation topics in here someplace. Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'


Oh CG, I'm so sorry you had to experience that.

I'm going to go a bit against the grain here and say the guy seems more... I dunno, sad than sick. Him, I mean, not you I mean. I totally understand how it was sickening for you.

In a way it would have been more... well, easier to handle if he'd just been a clueless ogre or an amorally self-centered prick but it's just painful that he knew what he was doing -- he'd give people chances to back out -- but then he'd do it anyway.

It doesn't diminish what he did at all, nor what it did to you and all the other hosts he fed on, but man! It changed you to spend 50 minutes with the guy and I just keep thinking how he's got to live with himself his whole life.

There's no way to type the sounds of revulsion mixed with pity I want to make for people like him. (I just spent several minutes trying.) I'm so sorry it had to be your veins he needed to drink from. I'm even sorrier he has to drink at all.

Take care,


chelsea girl

Actually, Digger, how I got over it is kind of the next bunch of installments...

Thanks you all for your support.

I appreciate it, more than you know.



What a disgusting specimen of an excuse for a human. To get off on that is just sad. And im sad for you to have gone through it, and i'm sad for our world to have people like that in it.


Wow. I'm catching up on all of your blogs a bit late (when I should be studying, but this is much more fun). I've only just read this one, but I just had to post a comment, because it's one of the most horrible things I've ever read. Just when I'm convinced that I've seen the worst of humanity, I read something like this. It's absolutely incredible to me that you could experience something like this for an hour and go on to recover. That guy is a freak of the highest order. The more I read, the more impressed I am with the kind of inner strength you must possess to deal with this kind of crap.


I just wanted to write to you to let you know that that is NOT what most people who consider themselves "feeders" get off on. I'm a female fat admirer, feeder and feedie, but I'm completely consensual about it and most of the time, it's all played out as fantasy. (Real weight gain takes too long and someone's weight is their personal choice, not mine to tell them or theirs to tell me.) Feeders usually get off on the girl (or guy) getting fatter, but they LIKE that. Yes, we may say "oh, you're getting so fat", but it's said as a POSITIVE thing. It's the fatness and the weight gain that gives us the stiff clit or the hard-on. To hear that this guy got off on the denigration that most women give themselves over their fat... well, it saddens me that you and other women got hurt by it, but the other part of me says that everyone has their kinks and there's nothing wrong with anyone's kink... the only thing that's wrong is using one's kink to abuse someone else. (And, obviously, the way he played out this kink ended up being emotional abuse on the end of the person receiving it.)

However, he's not into feederism... what he's into is humiliation and shame play. Because it was obviously the humiliation part that got him off, the self-shame. Feeders delight in fat bodies and bodies getting fatter. It's a positive thing in our eyes. We don't put people down for it.

I'm so sorry this man hurt you. Truly.

The comments to this entry are closed.