the greathotttessttttt day everrrr!!!!

dear diary,

i have something soooooooooo exciting to tell you!!!!

last night, when i & donny were together (& by together i mean doing it, and you know what i mean don’t you) i squirted!!!!

i know!!!!!

i can’t believe it either!!!!

but listen to this, so i went over to his house to have brunch & so we went out and had brunch at like this restaurant we really like & stuff and we ordered and switched plates like we always do & we had FRENCH TOAST and like it was so good (YUMMMY) & like i wore this black bustier that this ex-boyfriend of mine gave me on valentines day like forever ago

anyway, i told donny about the bustier & i even showed it to him before we went out to brunch & stuff and i made sure that like my cleavage was like poking out over the top of my white button down and stuff so donny would look at me. which he did.

anyway, so we had brunch & stuff and then we walked back to his apartment & i was all like do you want to play or take a nap? and he was all like no i've got to do work & stuff & so i was all like, uh ok, & then i took off my sweater and my skirt and my white shirt so i was just standing there in like my black bustier and black tights and purple suede boots that i got on the makeover show last year when i went on with my friend daisydukes…

so then i'm like donny are you sure you have to do work?

and he’s all like, maybe not…

and then he told me to stand up and walk around the room and then he told me to twirl around and then he told me go & lean my palms against the wall and wait

so i did

and then he comes back in with his FLOGGER & then i could feel like i so totally got wet right away (& like i'm so totally getting wet writing to you about it RIGHT NOW!!!!) & he all starts hitting me with the flogger on my ass and my thighs

and he’s all like, so tell me about your X

& like i totally would never tell him about my X (sooo not the bustier X but another X…i am such the total slutttt!!! hahaha!) before but this time i did and like every question he asks he starts hitting me harder & harder with the flogger so like totally my ass and my thighs were singing from all the switches hitting me & stinging me

it was like so totally fucking hott!!!!

he’s all like, so when did you first kiss? & when did you first make out? & like how many dates before you sucked his cock?

& like totally every answer i give, he like hits me so it goes like this---did you suck his cock on the third date? no, i don’t remember

SWAT!!

it was like the fourth date, i  told donny but it totally wasn’t it was the first but i wasn’t going to tell him that

(i am such a slutttttt!!!! but you so totally knew that!!!! ;))

anyway so after a while my butt is all toasty from the FLOGGER (toasty as the yummy FRENCH TOAST!!!!) and donny tells me to go and kneel on the bed (o i so totally forgot, first he had me kneel in front of him & suck his cock, which i did & he put the mirror so that we could totally see it & he told me to watch myself suck him which i did but then i felt like my arms looked totally chubby bunny so i looked away and faked it)

& then when i'm kneeling on the bed he takes scissors & cuts my tights right down the crack of my ass across my cootchie and back up the other side

it was so hottttt!!!!

& then he pulls my panties down around my knees & stares a while at my ass, then he like totally licks it & it felt so good but i kept on arching away anyway & then he starts f*cking me doggy style & rubbing my clit with his fingers

it was so totally greathotttttt!!!

then like he totally flips me over and starts licking my pussy (o i forgot----he put a pillow under my hips which is like really hott) & it felt better than greathotttt & like i was spreading my legs as faaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr as they would go (i am such a slutttt!) & his tongue felt so amazinghottt after all that flogging and f*cking

& like so i got really into it and i just felt my body floating with the amazinghotttt pleasure of his tongue and so like i practiced clenching and pooching out my pussy muscles & it like so totally worked & it made me even more turned on & stuff

and so like the closer i got to cummmmming, the more i started pushing out like i had to peeee but i didn’t have to peeee (& anyway i read somewhere on the internet that like you totally can’t pee when you cum so i just stopped worrying about it b/c if you read it on the internet it’s got to be true) & so i practiced pushing down with my kitty & i totally imagined me pushing into donny’s mouth and pushing onto his tongue

& like if u wannna know something really weird, ok, so like i imagined that there were all these people around all these men really around me watching me cum and then when i came it was so f*cking intense it was so looooooong it like never stopped & i felt like i was riding this whitehotttttt softburning velvet crested wave

it was beautiful

& it was like this rush came out of me

& like Donny’s all like, hey!!!! i think you squirted!!!!

& i'm all like no way!!!!

but he was like no there’s totally a puddle check it out & so i did & you know what he was like so totally right

& then donny fucked me and came.

so guess totally what?????

i am so totally a squirter. just like mom and grandma.

kisses to you xxxxxxxooooooXXXXXXXOOOOOXXXX!!!!!

chelsea girl

(Nota bene: I'm sure my customary intelligence shall return forthwith. In the meantime, feel free to avail yourselves of monosyllabisms. Or merely point and grunt.

And many thanks to my bloggy bitchgoddess O for sending me the fine Hello Kitty visuals.)

Comments

[j]

cool and I like your blog

[Balthazar B]

Hot, so hot, so wet.

[O]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! I am like so happy for you! Does he have a friend?

Meet me at the place near the thing where we went that time, okay, and we'll hang!

[Red Vines]

Wow. That was scary. I had no idea ejaculation was connected to ...that, that, whatever that was :] Like, OMG.

[Wren]

Oh, duuude, that like causes brain damage. Let me check. BONK BONK BONK. Nope didn't feel a thing man.

[ShannonPowers]

cootchie cootchie coo. Good work donny.

[daisyduke]

OMG!!! and colorific too!

[Edgy Mama]

You never cease to amaze me. Did you just fucking channel a fifteen-year-old girl? With the hormones of a 43-year-old? Amazing, you are.

[D'jaevle]

That is just so squirtirific. Congrats!

[lil red riding hood]

it's good to have you back to your cool,sexy self. you never disappoint me with your writing

[Demon Queen]

Oh my god! Like you so totally did NOT squirt? I was like Oh my god she did not squirt! But oh my god, you so totally did squirt! I am freaking out! I was trying so hard to squirt and all I did was pee myself. It was so grody I almost chuked my lunch. Fer sure! Gah!

It's totally bitchin to be slutttttty!
I'm sluttttty too!
Sluttttttts rock!

This post was totally tubular dude!
ROFLMFAO!

It's been a shit day with shit weather and this was just the kind of thing I needed to make me laugh.

Love ya CG!
You so totally rock!

[Goose]

Yew arrr so totally bitchin! Oh. My. God. Like I got so hott just reading that? LIke I totally wish I could have been a fly on the wall.
Awesome!

[MickyA]

CG that is indeed one hell of a damn hot post lady :)

You are such a fucking good slut ;)

M

[S.C.]

I'd say I'm speechless, but we both know that's pretty much impossible...

I think my eyes are bleeding a little... ;)

[Pussy Talk]

u totally ROCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

;)

DTG xxoo

[brazen billy]

too fucking cool.

loved the style of this, great post.

[MonMouth]

I bet mom would be very proud. Call her right now, give all the details, and do it in precisely the tone that the style of your post implies.

Go on! Try it. :)

[Used Hack]

That is the coolest fucking thing I've read in months. Wow!

Congrats, Chelsea Girl.

I'm totally printing this out for my wife. :)

[alwaysarousedgirl]

That's awesome! U rock!

(Doesn't it feel great?)

[Anakalia]

Welcome to the club CG. It's like, the best club EVER!!!!!

[leigh]

hahahahahahahaha!

[Danielle]

You really ARE my fuck salad now. You squirter, you.

[chelsea girl]

thanks you all!!!!

you're right!!! i so totally rockkkkkk!!!!

& so do all of YOUOOOOOOOOOOOOUUU!!!!!

KISSSKISSSSKISSSKISSSYKISS,
chelsea girl

[Shay]

Welcome to the squirting club!!

I haven't been able to do it durring sex but now I can't help it when I'm getting oral! I'm starting to have to lay down a towel before things get too hot and messy!

(psst psssstt did you read about female ejaculation here? -> http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com/2004/10/female-ejaculation.html )

[Introspectre]

You made me giggle and laugh and like, that is so cool! OMG we should be super best friends, I'll meet you at the mall and we can be sssssssslutsssssss together! Yay!

[Fritz]

By the Way:

I've squirted once. I thought it was pee. And then, I realized how special THAT was. So now I try to do it again, and it doesn't fucking work.

Have to keep trying.

[Suburban Dude]

I chronicled my experience with a squirter in my blog.

It was so fucking amazing.

[AS]

It's just pee.

[Karl Elvis]

"It's just pee"

Because, you know, Bacchus told us not to say that. B^)

[Quirky Photos]

Welcome to the club, darlin'!

[Clinton]

So you peed? What is this squirting? I recall female ejaculation from video. But, refered to as squirting, i saw it different; it looks like peeing.

[RSA]

Nice

[Rob]

Wow, you are so pretty, and so very, very hot!

[Willis]

Totally cool. like this would have been like a totally cool blog if it hadn't been for the "like" trashy english. Like you sooo should have went to a totally public school with the like poor kids instead of like going to a soo totally private school. The like public school teachers are like totally better than the ones at like the private schools. They like want to teach the totally poor kids & like they get paid soo much more. Just my like 2 cents.

[engrailed]

Congratulations, chelsea girl, on proving yourself a kinky pain slut. Oh, and yeah, the squirtee thing is neato too.